CUAgain

The buyout stuff is done. Offers made, many accepted, some reneged by the company after employees accepted…lots of good people going. Talent. Dedication. Paid to go somewhere else.

And I’m still here.

Layoffs are scheduled for next month. I’d guess around 100 or so.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

About Saturday’s post…Yep, we’re going back to take another look.

Not sure why we torture ourselves so…

After all, if we weren’t looking, and didn’t find anything we liked in an (barely) achievable price range…then we wouldn’t be agonizing over decisions.

Hopefully, looking at it again will clinch things…one way or another.

I shouldn’t sweat the risk…after all, life is risk. Everything of value comes of it.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

Must my reach always exceed my grasp? Must my dreams always push me beyond my current capabilities? Finiancial, equipment, time, market, employment…always, something is just not quite there.

Yeah, a dream is available. Yep, I could probably swing it for the purchase. It’s a small, friendlier town…off the mains…the perfect place to carry out my writing and artistic career.

But I can’t retire from work yet…even though I can’t depend on the income anymore…I really should not make decisions based on the income/stability of that job, even though I am good at what I do and have been there…gad…23 years now. See, they are trying to lay off about 500 of us.

My writing career is not yet paying the bills, the soft real-estate market means the home we are in now wouldn’t sell at a premium. The commute would be prohibitive.

But how often does a dream come up for sale?

(110+ year old, 2 story Victorian, 5 bedrooms, formal dining, library, rich wood, glass, pocket doors etc)

I can reach it. I may even grasp it. But I’ve been at the bottom…I know how far it is to fall. I don’t want to be there. But am I overcautious? Is my comfort or safety consuming a dream?

Don’t suppose I can get y’all to buy a few thousand books or so? Perhaps a couple hundred art prints?

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

I had to run an errand yesterday that required Big Iron…the 7000 pound 400hp beastie…I simply did not have enough bungee cords to carry what I needed to pick up on The Dragon you see…

Besides, you’re supposed to start those cage thingies every once and a while.

After some searching to actually find the keys to the thing I took off on my errand. I’m always relieved when she starts…sitting for months at a time is bound to piss off any machine with soul.

Anyway, I laughed out loud on the outbound trip. The odometer rolled over 99,000 miles. At that rate it’ll probably be another year before it hits 100,000. See, I bought that big beastie in January of 03…when some evil little chevy thingy took me out at a stoplight and wiped out my old truck..

She had 77,000 miles on her at the time. Coming up on 6 years now and I’ve only run that truck 22,000 miles…and over 5000 of those were in 2 road trips!

So sad. I gotta get Big Iron out more. Machines want to run!

By contrast, my motorcycle has over 130,000 miles on her…and she only had .1 miles (that’s a tenth of a mile) on her when I bought her (about a year before the truck).

A bed-load of parts…I also swung by the Homeowner Hell store to pick up some bulky items I’ve needed for a bit now…all the while wishing I was on the bike.

You might be a biker if…

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

First it was access to an education.
Then it was a right to an education.
Next it was required education.
Now it’s educate or incarcerate…with gps tracking to aid enforcement.

What’s the next step?

A Story

Gavin de Becker, best selling author of the critically acclaimed The Gift of Fear pulls on a lifetime of experience, expertise, and study of violence to teach a message I actually very strongly believe…trust your intuition…listen to your instincts…believe that little voice when it tells you something. It will save your life.

Anyway, he said something on national tv that really resonated with his audience…and had never occurred to me. I’m not sure of the implications of it in personal men/women relationships simply because, if true the playing field can never be level…there truly is no common ground or shared basis for relating. Basically the core is so far different that even when we agree, we really are not viewing things even close to the same way.

What he said, and his audience agreed, was about our core fear…the one that oversees everything, even if we aren’t aware of it…the one that often drives us:

Men, at our very core, fear that women will laugh, scorn, or reject us.
Women, at their very core, fear that men will kill them.

I know beyond question that men and women are fundementally different creatures…but are we that different?

Food for thought.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

That’s what me and all my coworkers are wondering at the moment.

Will we still be here? Should we care? Who will still remain with us if we do?

It’s a complicated job…requiring talented and dedicated people to pull off with even a small margin of quality and efficiency.

Secret meetings, secret numbers, questions about who will be doing what.

The drama is not productive.

And here we all sit…

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

I realized today that here, in this city, I’m immune to the sight of a body lying beside the road.

Yep, sprawled on the sidewalk, under a bridge, right next to the street was a body. I didn’t even give it a second thought at the time, it’s such a normal part of the cityscape that I scarcely noticed.

Homeless? Drunk? An addict? An accident? Medical problem? Crime victim? What if they needed help? What if I could have made a difference?

I don’t know. Experience and subtle clues when I thought about it later said, “chronically homeless”, and I well know the ineffectiveness of any help I could give there…and therefore generally don’t…but the point is that I was well down the road before I even realized what I had seen.

Not my finest hour.

A body would have had my full attention in the past…now I scarcely noticed.

Just when the HELL did that happen?

This is a night for nightmares and demons I suspect.

Sheesh. What’s this city doing to me?

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

Paid the bills, don’t have needed parts to work on The Dragon, work hasn’t called…all out of excuses.

Working on Storm Rider. Sheesh these characters! They keep trying to take the story in new directions.

I’ve got two sequels in mind…and I haven’t finished the durn original book yet!

Write on!

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

I’ve had a busy week and need an emergency bbq infusion.

Tomorrow, Saturday the 16th at 1:00pm at Hutchins BBQ in McKinney.

Hutchins Bar Bq & Catfish. 1301 N Tennessee St Mckinney, TX 75069

Just south of US 380 on Tennessee street. Tennessee street is a couple miles east of US 75 on 380.

See ya there!

(if you need book(s) let me know what…I’ll only be carrying what’s requested)

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer