The Most Dangerous Thing…

The most dangerous thing I ever encounter…is that man in the mirror.


you can't kill me by oomizuao on DeviantArt

“The beast is coming,
you’d better be running.”

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This and that…and the other thing…

200,000 miles of hard riding. It’s not an accident she’s gone that far.

She’s due for some service…these things simply won’t let you down…IF you don’t let them down.

Parts needed…some for service before the summer runs…a few spares to replenish some depleted stock…

*clickity clikity click*
Hmmm…that…and this…and that…and the other thing…
*clickity clickity click*
*ding*

Sheesh…never in the whole history…of the whole history…has it been easier to spend so much…so fast…

cleanvalk

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Believe…

consentedHow can you believe in magic? You’re supposed to be a man of science!

It’s not hard…the more I learn, the more I know…that I don’t know.

But that’s not the answer. It’s a bit more primal than that.

How can I believe in magic?

It’s easy.

Any man…that’s loved a woman…and made love to a woman…believes in magic.

Of course…and for the same reasons…he also believes in heaven and hell.

I’ll see you on the road.

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*la la la la la*

She slipped. The normally sure-footed Valkyrie slipped.

Just a little…and it was pouring rain…and there was runoff…and yah, I was pushing it…but not to the edge.

But she slipped.

She shouldn’t have. VERY disconcerting.

I eased up and momentarily reflected that the only reason I know where the edge actually is…is that I’ve occasionally gone over it.

“What the hell Babe!?”
You’ve not been listening boss.
“Well you’ve got my attention now!”
New skins please.
“Can’t be. I just put that front tire on there a…”

I look at the odometer. Do some math in my head. Divide by pi. Carry the two. Count to 21 on various appendages.

Well huh…

“…few hundred…”
Boss…
“…uh…few thousand…”
Eh Hmmmm
“…okay…fifteen thousand…”
*cough*
“…ur okay! Eighteen! Eighteen thousand miles ago.”
So. Boss?
“Yeah. Sorry Babe. New skins coming up.”

A little service on the agenda for tonight. I wonder what I’ve done with the tire irons?

Not real great for storm running...

Not real great for storm running…

I’ll see you on the road…

But ya know…hopefully not actually ON the road…

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Mmmm…munchies.

Mmmm. Snacks!

Mmmm. Snacks!

Stumbling in after a hard, late run I joined the wife in the living room watching the late news. I kissed her, grabbed handful of snack crackers out of the bag on the coffee table, and popped one in my mouth as I flopped down on the couch.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Frowning…I tell the wife, “Babe, these have gone a little stale.”

She looks up at me in alarm…opens her mouth…

I try another flavor.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

“Or they’ve gone off entirely…ugh.”

My wife is simply staring, mouth open, wide-eyed.

My glass from this morning is sitting there. I take a drink. Swallow. “These are terrible!”

Regaining some composure, very dryly the love of my life says, “Well honey, they’re chicken, beef, and liver flavor.”

I raise an eyebrow. Pop another flavor in my mouth. I think she might have tried to say, “Nooo!” but it simply came out as a squeak.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

The wife’s eyes get even wider. She has a hand to her mouth and a trace of a grin. She just might be starting to laugh.

“Ugh. That’s not any better. Who the hell would want chicken, beef, or liver flavored crackers?”

A definite grin now and twinkle (or is that a tear) in her eye. That flat voice delivery reserved for those moments she thinks I’m being particularly odd.

“Well honey, they’re called ‘Liver Snaps’, and made by Alpo, so yanno, it’s probably the dog that likes them.”

It takes me longer than I’d care to admit.

*blinks*

“Huh.” I say as I stare at the rest of them in my hand.

Sigh. I do have my moments…

Hmmm.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

What?

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Well that was unexpected…

catplayLeaving work this evening I ran into construction on one way out of downtown, an accident on another, and I don’t even know what was going on the third way I tried.

So…I created a 4th way…and ended up in the arts district…in traffic…again.

Just when I was certain the entire city should be written off, mumbling to myself, “I vote we take off and nuke the site from orbit…it’s the only way to be sure”…well…the unexpected occurred.

Random cat girl got on my bike with me.

That’s not a misprint.

Random cat girl.

And not just any random cat girl…one of the young, hormone carbonating big-tittied variety…in a blue thong bikini…(made of dental floss as best as I can tell)…

Fluffy, electrically articulated cat ears…big fluffy tail and all (the tail hiding far more than the bikini)…she jumped on the bike at an intersection, pressed her…ur…assets hard into my back, hugged me tight, gave me a big kiss (bite?) on the side of my neck, and said, “Let’s get out of here” or something like that…(carbonated hormones can seriously impact hearing).

I hesitated…for a couple reasons…those pesky carbonating hormones again…the traffic…and frankly…because this seasoned biker…this experienced man of the world…had absolutely no idea what to do.

None. Nada. Zero. Zip. Complete short circuit.

I mean…I’m pretty sure the wife wouldn’t want be to bring home just any uh…stray cat…

Apparently I stiffened (hah! see what I did there?)

In one fluid movement she leaped off the bike saying “OHMYGODYOU’RENOTNASH” (or bash, stache, or whoever she had thought I was when she leaped ON the bike)…and blushed clean to her nipples. I would have thought any hormone carbonator that would go out in that getup would be beyond blushing, but…well…it was cute.

I stared.
Her ears twitched.
I grinned.
She smiled and waved sheepishly. “Well, bye!”

Her tail swished as she turned and fled.

The guy in the pickup next to me gave me a thumbs up.

I decided I should probably breathe again.

I had been having a pretty sucky day. This moment simply turned that around. With a smile on my face and a shake of my head I headed out of town.

Accosted by a random cat girl and it just absolutely made my day. Maybe my week! Yeah, I’m a guy. Get over it.

And maybe Dallas isn’t such a total loss after all….and I’ve a new favorite route out of town.

Now…if you’ll excuse me…I’ve got some things to “discuss” with my own hormone carbonator. (“C’mere wife!”)

I’ll see you on the road.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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If nothing else…I can say I lived.

One of my friends…that *knows* what a “very good” audio system is…better strain said system to the limits playing this and about three other songs at my wake…yanno…when that day comes that I miss a step in this perilous dance we call “life”.

I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places, the things that I did
With every broken bone, I swear I lived.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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The sink…

An update to this post is at the bottom:

Four or five weeks ago the sink in our office break-room was stopped up…and some guy came to work on it for a couple hours. The result was it was taken apart and left that way.

Weeks. To fix a sink drain.

Rightly fearing that a company that can’t manage to hire the right guy to fix a sink could have other issues, our staff has been somewhat concerned.

Since we’re tech types…and the offending sink is in a tech building…what follows was probably inevitable.

*cough*I’veNoIdeaHowThatHappened*cough*

Inspired by THIS event…

The Sink:

on_sink

The posts:

am_I_the_only

hump-day-meme

I_will_find_you

its_a_trap

nobody_got_time

onedoesnot

portal

sean-bean-winter-is-coming_new

shutitoff

there_may_come

what_if

Y-U-No

An update on this:
Within a couple hours the memes had been removed.
Within 4 hours there was a plumber here.
Within 6 hours we had an email saying it was fixed (it wasn’t).
Two days later it was fixed.

I wonder where else we can apply this great power?
CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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Which today?

The most powerful things…and every day…the same question:

Creation? Destruction? A little of both?

creation_or_destruction

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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The Cage…Verdict is in…CVT means “Zoom Zoom”!

Regular readers might recall a few months ago that the wife’s ride was beginning to misbehave and needed some repair. Fourteen years, two major “smacks”, 180-something thousand enthusiastic miles, and many adventures (and misadventures) across the nation had begun to take their toll.

So I repaired it…I do believe it underestimated the depths of my resolve on this matter.

Well, we’ve now had the time and miles (including two emergency trips to the east coast) to put the new ride through its paces…and the verdict is in.

Short of it is…the car rocks. Powerful. Comfortable. Extremely competent handling (active stability controls)…and it gets 35-40 mpg depending on the mix of driving for that tank of fuel.

What I want to mention though…is the CVT (Continuously Variable Transmission) that attaches the ride’s 182 horsepower to the ground.
da_altima
What CVT means is “no gears”. Many folks are leery of this concept. They shouldn’t be.

If you want to jam some gears…buy a Peterbuilt. If you want maximum performance, CVT is the future.

Here’s why:
You jam the pedal to the metal and the transmission lets the engine hit its EXACT rpm for peak torque and horsepower and then smoothly varies its ratio to keep that rpm where it is as the car accelerates…no pauses for shifts…no over-revving…from the second you hit the petal to when you let off it you get the full 182 horsepower on the ground.

The effect is awe inspiring…and will frankly and firmly spank anything in this weight class and horsepower range. There is no better way to get the power to the ground.

Once you’re through screaming, “MORE POWER SCOTTY” and let off the gas…the tranny then smoothly varies the ratio to the ideal economy range for the engine at the power output needed to hold the speed you want. That gets you an average 35-38mpg on this mid-sized sedan. Downright impressive and fun to boot.

There’s also a thumb button on the shifter for “sport” mode…which essentially just tells the transmission to maintain the correct ratio for peak horsepower/torque no matter what you are doing. You can use this when you “know” you are going to be aggressive for that more “firm” response when you first tromp on it…or to decelerate on long slowdowns or hills or such.

Paired with active stability controls it is an amazing machine…

…all in a mid-sized sedan.

The wife grins evilly and says, “Ooooo…mama likessssss…”

I may have unleashed a monster.

We’ll see you on the road!

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