Cricketgeddon

Innocent bug or piranha-like plague?

We are having an invasion of crickets at our workplace. They move in at night, and in the morning are to be found by the thousands gathering in dark corners and shady spots on the outside of our buildings.

Daily, they are dousing our campus with insecticide. It’s a wonder anything (including us) can survive here. I’ve been calling it “Cricketgeddon”, as we are slaughtering them by the thousands…and still they keep coming.

The poison works slowly though, and tends to scatter the crickets out of the corners and pipes and make them very hyper.

Before the cleaning/maintenance folks sweep them up or hose them away, the stoned-out-of-their-tiny-little-minds crickets bounce all over the place. Covering sidewalks, wandering up the ramps, jumping on folks as they pass.

As I’m parking my motorcycle this morning one lady headed into the main building was facinated by their activity. Thousands of them…jumping, crawling, screeching…all over the dimly lit passage into work. She was obviously reluctant to cross the river of insects.

her: “What are they doing?”
me: “Maintenance sprayed ’em. Gives ’em the munchies.”
her:”What do they eat?”
me: “Meat. Other insects. Small animals.” (I’ve absolutely no idea what they eat.) “I suppose enough of ’em could eat a person…you know, like a school of piranha fish.”

Her mouth drops open and she looks at them in absolute horror…there are literally thousands of them between her and the building, and she’s in a dress (nice legs btw). The crickets are evil scourge is quite active…bouncing and hopping all over the place. Their distinct screeching undulates and echos in the covered walkway into work. The noise wouldn’t be out of place in a cheap horror movie. There are even crickets climbing on the walls.

“Oh my god!” She turns and brushing herself frantically with her arms, flees back toward the parking garage, almost trotting in her high heels and practically dancing to avoid the odd cricket scattered here and there back the way she came. Every once and a while she screeches when one comes too close. As much as her arms are flapping I keep expecting her to take off like a bird.

I imagine her boss is going to find that “call-in” very interesting.

“Can’t work. Crickets will eat me.”

Yes, today apparently, my evil twin came to work. Sorry about that.

To the young lady that I have no doubt, scarred for life…I’m sorry. I don’t *think* the crickets will eat you…but of course, they are still spraying this wierd kool-aide smelling insecticide every day. You never know what insects on drugs will do.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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One Response to Cricketgeddon

  1. cliftoncrews says:

    Sandy grew up an Army Brat, and spent 3 yrs in Texas when her dad was at Ft Hood. When they arrived, an episode of Cricketgeddon was underway. It is her most distinct memory of Texas…

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