Parked Motorcycle Syndrome

I’ve edited and re-written this several times for forums I participate on…but seems I’ve never posted it on my own site.

Seems like a good time!

PMS and Forumites (a work in progress)

Twas the month before Christmas
And all through the net
Controversy was building
Tempers put to the test

The forumites were stirring
All smug in their views
Inane and extreme posts
Flowed fast and flowed loose.

The admins all hustled
From one board to ‘nuther
Whacking some posts
And editing some others

Explaining the rules
For the ten-thousandth time
It’s not that complex
What’s wrong with these guys?

Cruising the posts
Now what the heck’s up?
Oh crap, not him again
Will that guy ever shut up?

Now Obama! Now Bush! Now Gingrich! Now Clinton!
On Jesus! On Odin! On Santorum! On Nixon! (Nixon? WTF?)

“You’ve got the wrong oil!” “You mentioned your god!”
“Your friends talk too much!” “You ride a hog!”

“I’ll buy you a beer if I don’t kill you first.”
“Hey I don’t even ride!” “Hey I hate your shirts!”

What’s wrong with these guys?
Well the problem’s well known
Just exactly like last year

It’s Parked Motorcycle Syndrome.

So what do we do for this seasonal ill?
Do we ban? Do we cancel? Do we change? Do we kill?

“Let’s vote” scream the few
“Let’s quit” says another
“Let’s all praise the admins”
Says one enthusiastic brother

On every topic some “experts” must post
Intent to divide, and a post count to make most.
“This’ll make these guys riled, regardless of merit
Wait, no one’s arguing? I MUST dangle this carrot!”

Civility and restraint would calm this with reason
“But I’ve got a point to prove! And hey, tis the season!”

“Shut up all you guys!” say some, “I’ll take my ball and go home!”
Feeding the trolls they are, the equivalent of filet mignon.

“Off –topic should go elsewhere”
Screams part of the hoard
“But,” groans the admin,
“It’s the off-topic board!”

And the admins stare dumfounded
And put their head down a bit
“Don’t these guys realize
We don’t get paid for this sh!t?”

As for this boy from Texas
Does he have any advice?
Well yeah, ya durn fools!
Just try to be nice!

Don’t like a topic?
Don’t check out that note
There’s plenty to read
That won’t get your goat

Ticked off ‘bout that guy?
Gonna give him what-for?
Calm yourself a moment
There’s no need to roar.

I’ll leave you with this
‘Cause right now I’m fried

Merry Christmas to all
Now SHUT UP AND RIDE!

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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