I felt a chill…

honked-at-a-priusI decided to take “Big Iron” (the big Dodge 4×4) to work this morning. We had a hard freeze last night after several inches of rain this weekend so there are ice patches all over the city…”The Dragon” does not really appreciate glaze ice…

The wife had an appointment and was leaving at the same time.

Enter…THE FROST (echoing scary music here).

My truck, her car. Roughly the same color. Sitting side by side in the driveway. No sun yet to melt anything…22 degrees outside

My truck: Covered with thick frost. Top to bottom. Front to back. ALL the glass. All the body.

Her car: Clean and clear. No frost at all.

Now…since if the internet/social media today has taught me anything it’s this: We simply KNOW that correlation=causation, unrelated things are perfectly valid comparisons, and everything on TV and internet is fact, I present this…

Fact: Ghosts are cold. So are demons. Google it. There’s millions of sources so it must be true!

Conclusion: “Big Iron” is haunted.

Now…since the only way I know to exorcise a ghost from a Dodge is to play Barbra Streisand music loud and long…and that only works simply because it repels *everything* living or dead…I’ll just have to put up with the ghost. I mean really…that thing has a 400 watt Pioneer Supertuner deck in it…I’m pretty sure I’d be charged with crimes against humanity if I fired up Barbra Streisand on that.

So…”Big Iron” will just have to remain haunted. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up with a Flying DutchTruck…the big Dodge with my skeleton inside flitting from city to city looking for Priuses weaving in an out of rush hour traffic so we can suck out their engines to power my leaf blower and harvest the souls of the dammed drivers and transport them to the hell of smugly superior type-A douchebags.

That should, at least, add an interesting element to the commute…

Daniel Meyer

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