Only What You Seek

Dark ponderings…deep in a cold, lonely night.

The bottom line is…some people do not want empowerment.

Don’t want. Won’t seek. Can’t accept. That doesn’t mean they won’t decry not having it…and try to tear down those that do.

Empowerment means responsibility. Empowerment means you and you alone are responsible for your actions. Empowerment means you succeed, or fail, on your own merit.

Enlightenment works much the same way.

The world moves…whether we wish it to or not…whether we’re ready or not. Some folks seek to drive their destiny…to pilot their lives.

But some are just along for the ride. These people seek regulation…and worse yet…since they cannot bide the world where they are responsible and thus can’t imagine that others could be…they seek the regulation of others. Some seek strict religious dogma and interpretation, some seek intrusive government, yet others seek relationships where they can abdicate control. The degree varies from the extreme to the subtle.

This is often confusing for us that struggle to be the masters of our own destiny. Those that give up the responsibility…and allow…nay…*require* that others make the decisions and initiate the actions…often end up hating the very thing or people they have submitted to. It’s easy. Blame the things you don’t like on others. Cry to the world about the injustice of it all, even while doing absolutely nothing to change it.

To stand on the ground and bitch about not being able to fly is pointless…to hate the ones that do fly is dangerous. To try to pull down the ones that you have insisted carry you…will cost you your soul…and worse…it may cost them theirs.

Build your wings and try…and if you fail…well then you can bitch…but you’d better be dusting yourself off and trying again or everything that you are…is wasted.

“Invictus” (Unconquered)  Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.  In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.  Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds and shall find me unafraid.  It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.  -William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)As a man…and I mean that not simply in a “pointer instead of setter”, “tripod”, or “caution, contains dangly bits” way, but rather in the, “do what’s right for you and yours even at personal cost” realm, I’ve had to make decisions…sometimes with little input…about the directions and actions taken for myself and those around me. Those decisions haven’t always been popular.

But they got made.

In hindsight, I’ve not always been right. I’ve not always succeeded. I’ve on occasion, outright failed. I’ve got the scars…real AND metaphorical as dubious reward.

But I’m still flying…and learning.

The disdain hurts though. The dismissal. The lack of appreciation…or even…respect. Doesn’t matter. I don’t need those things to do what’s right.

But they help. The ones close to you in life…family, lovers, friends…are the ones that can cause the most pain. More importantly…no matter how hard we try otherwise…at least some small part of us is a reflection of the people we surround ourselves with.

Every man on the planet…every *real* man anyway…has faced this, or will face it. I’m not by myself. Not even close.

So why do I feel so alone?

Yah. I’ve demons to chase. They are entirely too free…in the cold and the dark.

I’ll see you on the road.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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