Hell of a Scare?

For long motorcycle trips, laundry can be a problem. You can’t carry much, OR the supplies to do it, so it’s expensive and time consuming to do. A stop at the laundry-mat means buying soap, running a full load for just a few items, and experience will tell ya…ya can’t wash everything at once. The cops frown at finding some 300-pound biker-dude sitting in the laundry-mat wearing nothing but a leather jacket and a smile. Creative use of summer riding gloves can possibly prevent an actual arrest…but it will be a damn close thing…Lord help ya if the cop is a fan of the Village People…unless, yanno…that’s your thing.

Now, if you’re a female rider, you can get away with this. In point of fact, I highly recommend you spend quite a bit of time wearing nothing but leather and a smile…and I recommend you send me pictures of these events…for…posteriorarity ur, um…posterity…yeah…that’s it.

AhHem! Ur…anyway, you can get away with wearing the same jeans for a while…and even t-shirts…pretty much until they will stand up and run off on their own…as they don’t tend to smell of much more then leather and gasoline due to all the fresh air rushing by at 80+mph…well that, and the usual and thorough quick-flush washing they get when you get caught in that summer thunderstorm and instead of gearing up, you scream, “Is that all you’ve got?!” and twist the throttle to the stop.

Besides, jeans and t-shirts can be quickly rinsed in a sink, fountain, hotel bath-tub, or showers of the local brothel if they get too bad…

I mean, you KNOW you’re a biker when some mostly naked, sultry chick says, “Hey big boy, I’ll do anything you want for ten dollars.” and you hand her your laundry and say, “No starch please.”

NOW…and this is important…socks and underwear must be kept CLEAN if you hope to stay on the road and make any miles, and not just “rinse clean” either. The word “monkeybutt” describes the results of failure to do this…google this at your peril…and it is debilitating, no matter how tough you are. Once it starts…recovery time is extensive and mandatory.

So, keeping those items very clean is critically important to the distance rider…and I’m not anything if I’m not a distance rider. Still, I don’t have the time/space/’tolerance for arrest’ to attend lots of laundry stops or carry tons of clothes, so starting out on a trip I typically pack the ratty but still wearable socks and underwear, and then just throw them away when dirty.

A quick stop at Walmart or some other department store for a new package of them when I get low (once a week or so) is fast, and believe it or not, is about the same price as a laundry stop. This method also keeps my dresser at home from accumulating lots of worn out socks/underwear that I’d never wear…

SO…

Hot summer. LONG day’s ride. As I came out of the campground showers a guy saw me toss the balled up socks/underwear I’d been wearing that day into the trash.

He laughed out loud at me…”Must have been a HELL of a scare on that ride!”

I’ll see you on the road (but probably not at the laundry mat).

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

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