Got some fried chicken while traveling…lady waiting for her order at the counter SAW me wandering in all crispy and sweating from the heat and sun and watched me take off my gloves. She then asked what was wrong with my hands…I blinked…looked at my hands…pondered…really waiting for her to realize it was a tan line…and when it was obvious that revelation was never going to come I said, “Cheetah Syndrome”.
Yanno. Spots. Cheetah. It was the best I could do on short notice.
“Does it hurt?”
“No, but it makes me ride much too fast. It’s pretty common on motorcyclists.”
wait for it…
wait for it…
…annnnyyyytime now…she’ll get it and we’ll have a good laugh…
“Ooohhh. Is there any cure?”
“No ma’am. I expect it’ll effect me till the day I die. It’s less of a problem during the winter though.”
“Is it contagious?” she was looking at me sort of sideways now…one eye sort of squinting. She was too polite to just step away.
In for a penny…in for a pound…I guess.
“Not from person to person. It’s like a virus. You catch it from traveling on the road too much. There’s no vaccine but…” I looked at her conspiratorially, “Spouses and girlfriends of riders…yanno…intimate partners…develop immunity.” I leaned in and lowered my voice, “It only takes 4 or 5 uh…intimate encounters…and the immunity lasts a lifetime.”
“Ooooohhh.” I could see the wheels turning. She seemed to be varying between scandalized and fascinated.
“Also it has some benefits…riders and those with immunity seem to overall be more mentally healthy and need less therapy than others.”
Frankly…I expect at that moment…I could have gotten laid…but I was saved by the bell…ur…by the chicken. My order was up and I grabbed it and turned for my table.
“Well I hope everything’ll turn out for the best. You just never know.”
I blinked again and politely thanked her…there seemed no other graceful thing to do…having gone that far and all…
Sitting there eating my most excellent chicken, I shortly noticed her glancing at me on occasion…I winked back at one point and she blushed clear to her neckline…I expect I’ve started a new rider related mythos.
Maybe I should start a support group.
I finished my chicken and skedaddled.
I’ll see ya on the road!