Mmmm. Snacks!

Mmmm. Snacks!

Stumbling in after a hard, late run I joined the wife in the living room watching the late news. I kissed her, grabbed handful of snack crackers out of the bag on the coffee table, and popped one in my mouth as I flopped down on the couch.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

Frowning…I tell the wife, “Babe, these have gone a little stale.”

She looks up at me in alarm…opens her mouth…

I try another flavor.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

“Or they’ve gone off entirely…ugh.”

My wife is simply staring, mouth open, wide-eyed.

My glass from this morning is sitting there. I take a drink. Swallow. “These are terrible!”

Regaining some composure, very dryly the love of my life says, “Well honey, they’re chicken, beef, and liver flavor.”

I raise an eyebrow. Pop another flavor in my mouth. I think she might have tried to say, “Nooo!” but it simply came out as a squeak.

*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*

The wife’s eyes get even wider. She has a hand to her mouth and a trace of a grin. She just might be starting to laugh.

“Ugh. That’s not any better. Who the hell would want chicken, beef, or liver flavored crackers?”

A definite grin now and twinkle (or is that a tear) in her eye. That flat voice delivery reserved for those moments she thinks I’m being particularly odd.

“Well honey, they’re called ‘Liver Snaps’, and made by Alpo, so yanno, it’s probably the dog that likes them.”

It takes me longer than I’d care to admit.


“Huh.” I say as I stare at the rest of them in my hand.

Sigh. I do have my moments…


*crunch* *crunch* *crunch*


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