On experience…and cutting lines…

I happened to find myself at the 24-hour drug store recently to pick up a particular product for the wife.

Doesn’t happen often in our household…those surprise midnight runs…as we both do the shopping and I know her brands. I’ve been keeping some version of pads in stock in my household ever since I had a household…yes…even before I was married. See, ya never know when a visitor may need one AND…honestly…they make fantastic bandages for those somewhat frequent “larger than they should be” injuries I’ve sustained over the years. I can usually find at least one in my motorcycle bag.

I realize that the societal norms dictate that I’m supposed to be all embarrassed and stuff about this…but that’s a myth perpetuated by sit-coms looking for the cheap laugh (ya don’t have to actually PAY writers when all ya do is go for the low-hanging fruit) or folks that just plain dislike men…or have never known anything more than boys. For us actual adults…it normally bears no more thought than buying toilet paper or hand soap.

Anyway…midnight run…a box in the cabinet that appeared full fooled us both. Off to the drug store. Not normally a remarkable event.

What I found funny and remarkable this time was just how many of us men were making that particular run on that particular night…there were at least 6 of us on the aisle and a several more at the checkout with various versions of the products.

I got a chuckle out of that…every customer in the store was male…and buying some version or other of a “feminine protection” product.

One dude was in nothing but his boxers.

As a note…my childish ways DO manifest as I can’t ponder the words “feminine protection” without at least thinking…but usually saying out loud…”Chartreuse flamethrower!”…well…because this:

Ahh my corrupted youth.


One lone woman was running the register so there was quite a line forming up as I approached.

I didn’t have to wait though. See all the men in the line were obviously less experienced than me…AND…that experience had caused me to pause in an additional aisle on my way up to the register.

“Dudes…” I said and as they turned I held up a fist full of premium large Dark Chocolate candy bars and waggled it.

“Shit, that’s genius!” says the guy directly in front of me as he departs the line and heads for the candy aisle.

“Good idea!” says the next…

And all of ’em…every single one…nodding or mumbling something or other…left the line and headed for the candy aisle.

Essential product

Essential product

Beaming, I handed my selections to the gal at the register and told her, “You’re missing a hell of an up-sell opportunity! You should have a box of this stuff,” I indicated the chocolate, “right here.”

She smiled and reached down and pulled out an empty…”Second one tonight.”

Bag of pads: ~$7.00
Fist-full of chocolate: ~$12.00
Skipping the line: Priceless.

I’ll see you on the road.

Daniel Meyer

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