Casual things…or the end of the world.

eye22Dateline yesterday…I’m melting in the afternoon heat at the Old Vic…tinkering on various not-too-strenuous stuff…the wife has incomprehensible *wifely* things to attend to at the Suburban Blah House so we’ve divided our forces…miles…and hours…and a world apart.

And in her world…some dude rings the doorbell…

It takes the wife a bit to get to it but when she does, dude is walking away…turns and says something to her she didn’t understand, and left around the side of the house (there is a utility easement between us and the neighbors and it’s not unusual for folks to cut through there). She shrugs, and closes/locks the door.

Within a minute or so, wife hears the front storm door (which was locked the entire time) get jerked open and the dude tries to kick the front entry door in.

Score one for steel entry doors and reinforced hinges/deadbolt holes. Casual things…I never expected to need.

The assault on the door stops. Wife had headed for what would be a last-ditch, fall-back position. Then she hears crashing noises from the back/driveway side of the house. She pushes the panic button on her car-keys and sets the car-alarm off. In horror movie fashion, her phone is in another room.

More smashing from the rear pf the house and she took off out the front door, across the street, to the neighbor’s house (one we know well).

Alarms and cops and dogs and forensic teams and searches ensued. Guy was gone. At least there was no screaming and no blood.


Noise from the back of the house was him smashing in the back gate. He also attempted entry through the sliding glass door…he got it off the track but the security bar kept the door from coming out/open. Those casual things again. The wife had made it out by then.


A “smash and grab” would have stopped when he discovered somebody was home…so we’re left with either, an opportunistic home invasion that includes a bonus attack on the wife…or some pissed off, drunk dude trying to get in the wrong house…we hope beyond hope it was the second. It is much less complicated…and not nearly as malevolent. It’s also much less likely to result in the destruction of the world…but that would be another tale.

Wife is a cool cookie…cops got a great description…she did the right thing scooting out when she had the chance…ventilating the dude full of whatever of several calibers could come to hand was not her first choice unless cornered…ladies often are more sensitive about these things…this can operate to their detriment at times but they are what they are…and the world is often better for it.

Note that I hold no such reservations. I am what I am as well.

It worked out okay…I’m unclear on exactly what I would do if somebody did something to Her…*ending* fucking civilization is not out of the question here…and probably just step #1…

Geronimo the big orange cat was not happy…especially about the police dog pronouncing the house an “all clear except this cat under the bed”. It took half the night to get him to come out.

Y’all be safe…and hug ’em if ya got ’em…

…and clean and oil those other things…

I’ll see you on the road.

Daniel Meyer

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