Wearing myself to the very edge of endurance simply won’t help my fitness…or any other thing I’m responsible for. Knowing what’s a real limit and what’s a head game is a challenge, but this truly was a fog of physical and mental exhaustion.
A few more hours sleep should help. I figured I could hit our small work-gym at lunch and get some action.
At least part of me liked it anyway.
I’ve mentioned the head games on a couple occasions…the hardest thing about the fitness game is that battle right between your ears…the head game. The decisions.
If I don’t do a morning workout I usually hit the work gym around 1 pm…it wasn’t long before that the head games started…
My thoughts…the brain battling itself…
excuse: Man…I’ve got this [work thing] going on…
answer: …and you get lunch breaks just like everybody else.
excuse: I really need to prepare for this meeting…
answer: …dude! It’s 4 hours away and it’s no big deal anyway!
excuse: They’re about to take the gym apart for the building move.
answer: …but it’s STILL THERE right now.
excuse: I am a bit fatigued…
answer: …not like anything you felt this morning…and you KNOW you’ll feel better after the workout.
excuse: And that shoulder is really bothering me…
answer: …so work the damn legs you twit!
excuse: The room’s probably busy…
answer: …it never has been before. Go see.
excuse: I forgot my mp3 player. I’ve GOTTA have music…
answer: …so stream it on your phone.
And on and on and on.
Part of the issue is that truly…unlike many other aspects of my life, there are no immediate consequences if I miss a workout. The time, expense, and effort I apply to this still seem selfish to me, and I expect, given my upbringing and work ethic, that they always will.
All this work to do…and I’m AT work…and I’m gonna run off to play in the exercise room.
Sometimes my work-ethic can be a real asshole.
So what did I do?
At 1pm I locked my workstation, grabbed my stuff, and hit the gym.
I showed up…I did the thing.
Good thing I made it non-negotiable.