Can’t wear what I had…me AND the wife…at the same time…could fit in some of it, and while that might be fun…that really won’t do for work attire.
Hesitant to buy new, as I’m still in the process and clothes can be expensive. Whatever size I’d get I probably wouldn’t need for very long.
I’d sort of compromised…buying thrift store jeans. I was surprised at the great selection in the smaller sizes…but I guess I shouldn’t have been. Most folks are getting bigger, not smaller.
Y’all may remember there was a time I couldn’t fasten a 60″ pair of slacks. SIXTY…jeans I couldn’t wear at all…nobody made ’em in my size anymore.
And then I went to work.
Eventually got into 58’s. I could wear JEANS again! Then 56’s. 54’s. 50’s. Then 40’s. I was seriously surprised when I could wear a 38.
And then I had a 36″ pair, grabbed accidentally from the thrift store. Seems like suddenly they fit, and were even starting to get loose.
I hadn’t worn a 36″ as an adult…ever.
But the Fat Man in the Mirror spoke up. “They’re thrift store jeans! Probably mis-sized! They were too big for 36’s so somebody dumped ’em! That’s the only reason you could wear them. Must be!”
Still…I wore the jeans and smiled that something actually fit.
Then, a couple weeks ago I tore a knee out of them. Bummer. But they’d been getting loose anyway. Maybe time for 35’s?
Surely not. That’d be getting close to “fit”…and I’m not that. I don’t expect to get much smaller than that, even when “fit” as there are some hip-bones and a bit of muscle in there.
But in a fit of optimism I said “screw it” and ordered a NEW pair of 35’s from my favorite jeans company, Diamond Gusset.
When the box arrived I opened it and almost sent them back without trying them on.
It’s a hard thing to explain…the “heft” of the new pair of jeans…compared to what I used to have to wear…I’d guess there’s 3-4 times as much material in a 58″ pair of jeans as there is in a 35″…it’s not just waist. The material in the butt, thighs, etc really add up.
And these were so light…and small…the Fat Man in the Mirror was immediately scornful, loud and clear. “You’ll never get in these. Ever. Stupid to spend money on those. Look how small they are! Forget it.”
And I listened. And it stung. I tossed the still folded jeans in the top of the closet and walked away.
Maybe tomorrow I could check the thrift store…find some 38’s or 40’s…
I’m proud to say…it didn’t take long…just a couple minutes…
I’m still learning. Always will be I expect. The head game has been the most difficult part of this journey and it is NOT my friend in this. I’ve constantly had to overcome self-imposed limitations. Every damn day in fact…
And that damn Fat Man in the Mirror…
…is in my head.
To hell with him.
I strode back in the bedroom, grabbed the jeans off the shelf in the closet…and put them on.
I will admit…they are tight…the fat around the thighs, hips, and belly is the first to pile on and the last to come off…
But slowly. Surely. Inexorably. Come off it has. There’s still more to do…but I keep forgetting…setbacks and all…that I AM doing it.
The jeans are tight…but they fit. No problem buttoning or zipping them up.
And then there’s the wife..gotta love her…who saunters by, gives me the look, and comments, “Mmmm. ‘dat butt!”
The Fat Man in the Mirror grudgingly agreed with her.
I’m starting to believe…maybe he and I will come to terms someday.
I’ll see you on the road.
You can read more about my fitness journey here.