Losing it…

I am of a breed that works tirelessly to support my family and friends…protects the same…and does my best to solve problems for them and others.

This intense drive is part instinctual/sex. Yes kiddies, there actually is a difference between men and women and how they approach things.

It is also part parentage, part societal conditioning, and a very large chunk of it is my developed personal honor…formed by experience…resounding successes…and horrifying failures.

It is NOT a minor thing…this drive.

Unfortunately it results in neglect of certain things…mainly…myself. Work or “stuff” I need/should do for myself gets put last on the priority list. Since our society generates crisis and noise at a frantic rate…that list is never ending…and “I” often end up on the bottom of it.

When I do take time to do “stuff” for myself…it is usually external…work on a project of some sort…ride to keep my sanity…that sort of thing…and again, I never get down to the “me”. There’s simply nothing “less important” on the list that I can ignore.

Since, despite its problems, I like life in general and mine in particular, I recently realized this is not exactly the best approach.

Six weeks ago today I announced (on my Facebook feed I think), that I’d had enough…and no matter what it took…sacrificing job, friend, or family obligations, I was going to tackle my fitness.

Before in life…it was a self-maintaining thing. Construction and farm work will keep you pretty fit…at least when they aren’t happily and effectively killing you…but as I’ve aged and neglected myself…well…some of that changed. A desk job is not a small contributor.

So…yeah. Six weeks ago I hired a personal trainer (small class format), and stepped foot…for the first time…into a formalized exercise environment.

It’s a little bit daunting…my exposure to training was my high-school and jr-high coach…who’s idea of exercise was to, and I’m NOT exaggerating, make us run around the track until we puked.

Three times a week. Run around the track…heat, cold, rain, whatever…until you puke (no water/breaks either!). The other two days we did push-ups or sit-ups…nothing but…for 40 minutes (or until we puked).

The other factor is that spending your teenage years in a poor environment sort of encourages you to work very hard…but at ACCOMPLISHING something. The focus was external though. Exercise was expending effort at accomplishing…nothing concrete.

Taking care of myself was never even on the list.

Lord knows I’ve the scars to prove that one.

There’s no other way to lose weight than a strict diet (short of surgery)…so why the trainer? Particularly the weight training? Diet is king…and if you simply MUST exercise, well, cardio is where it’s at for weight loss…you can walk around your neighborhood for free…

Well, it’s like this…I’ve been a strong man all my life…and I LIKE being capable of picking up engine blocks…and breaking stupid people in half when they need it. That really should be a rarity…but there seems to be no shortage of stupid people lately.

Weight loss at the expense of muscle and bone mass is NOT a good thing…being fat would be healthier…and this will also help balance and such if I manage to survive the metroplex long enough to retire.

There is NO healthy way to lose weight…being a lower weight is healthy…but getting there is a serious stress and your body will fight you every step of the way…sometimes with serious health consequences.

Training is a way to make it as safe and effective as possible.

Anyway, I’d lost substantial weight on my own…but have been stuck/frustrated for a year now.

My attitude…or id…got to a “point” and said “Screw this crap.”

I woke up one morning and told the wife that no matter what it took…I was losing 100+ lbs this year. I sighed up the next day.

I’ve always been a large/muscular man so I’m shooting for 200-220 and then I’ll see where I’m at (I weighed 220 when I was nothing but muscle and blood). If you want the embarrassing facts…I peaked a couple years ago at 427…and I couldn’t fasten a SIXTY INCH jeans.

I worked at that with diet and hard work (life/project stuff, not structured exercise) and lost a bunch…I was a hundred or so pounds lighter but plateaued/holding when I started this new regimen.

That damn list again. It takes focus and drive to succeed at this…nothing short of 100% will do…and I’d fallen clean off the bottom of the list.

So I put myself on the top…and I mean the VERY top…of the list. I’ve never been there before. It remains to be seen just exactly what…it will cost me.

It’s a tough thing…my work ethic and honor fight that “selfishness” every day…and it tastes like a failure.

But it has to be done or I won’t succeed. If you have a (more than 20%) weight problem…the success rates of losing it and keeping it off are dismal…there are entire, multi-billion dollar industries focused on selling you magic to fix this…and society is not geared to allow you to focus on it…even while demanding you “fix” yourself.

My wife supports me…but I was met with some skepticism in other venues.

We will see, won’t we?

Has it worked?

Six weeks…I’ve lost 24 pounds and gained substantial muscle mass at the same time.

20+% of my goal. 80 pounds left. When I’m done I’ll be less than HALF my peak weight.

And next week I “ramp it up a notch”.

Will I stay motivated?

Wrong question. I’ve ALWAYS been motivated. Problem was…”I” wasn’t on the list.

I’m at the top of it now. The question is…can I stay there.

I’ll see you on the road.

Daniel Meyer

(left) 2013, 427 pounds — (right) 2015 327, pounds

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The Great Wall

Took my lover to the movies Monday evening…”The Great Wall” was on the agenda…

We had reservations about this one…it looked good in the previews but its run in the smaller theaters we usually frequent was disturbingly short…and other than on the internet…we heard little about it.

Still…the trailer looked fun…so off we went, taking a chance with our hard earned $25 (ticket prices at the AMC are getting downright sucky).

We loved it. Cinematically gorgeous! Action. Adventure. Monsters. Fantastic sets. Intricate costumes. A decent story as well…VERY well cast.

Much more action than suspense…which is our preference.

Fun…kind of a mix between over-the-top American action style and…well…over-the-top Chinese action style.

We enjoyed it, and will add it to our collection.

For sure worth a viewing on the big screen!

Also: (obligatory)

So far for the year:
#1 Passengers
#2 John Wick Chapter 2
#3 The Great Wall
#4 Triple X…the Return of Xander Cage
#5 Collateral Beauty

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We learn…

Something over a million miles on motorcycles…near a quarter-million on The Dragon alone…45(ish) states (including Alaska), 7 Canadian Provinces, and at least 5 Mexican states…mountains, curves, horrendous weather, wildlife…and I realized on this morning’s commute that the most technical, grueling, challenging, demanding, and dangerous (by far) riding I do…is right here in the metroplex.

It meets out lessons…and pain…on a constant basis. There is something to learn, every damn day.

As humans we learn right up to the point where we die…so it sounds good, right?

Maybe not…It had never occurred to me before that it might be the lessons that kill us.

I’ll see you on the road.

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Valentines Day…ur…romantic getaway?

Sooo…we were pondering Valentines Day plans…

A movie/meal? We like movies. We have a couple dinner theaters hereabouts…sounds like a plan…
But what movie?

Me: “Well, Drafthouse has this ‘Titanic’ thing…showing the 1997 movie and serving a ‘themed’ multi course dinner…but it’s like…$90 each.”
Her: “Too expensive. We can watch it on DVD and eat steak or something.”

Me: “SMG has ‘The Notebook’ out for Valentines.” (I’d not seen this but heard it was supposed to be a “chick flick”.)
Her: “Gawd no. That’s not romantic. It’s a horrible tragedy!”

Me: (really reaching, still trying for a “chick-flick”): “Fifty Shades Darker?” (we watched the first one on DVD and it was…boring. Seriously. Not porn. Not erotic. Not exciting. Not titillating. Boring. With a capital “B”.)
Her: *snerk* “You’re kidding, right?” (with that sideways look I get when I’m being particularly obtuse) “Booorringggg! Sex should NOT be boring. Only Hollywood could manage that.”

Me: …..
Her: “Hey, isn’t John Wick 2 out?”
Me: “A shoot-em-up for Valentines?”
Her: “Why not?”

It’s gun porn. Simply put. It’s more gun porn that 50 shades is porn porn…by a long shot (heh…see what I did there?) Stupid, WAY over the top action and shoot-em-up.

But the original was fun…which, frankly, is why we go to the movies. Reality and/or boring on the big screen doesn’t interest us all that much.

John Wick Chapter 2 is more of the same…a continuation, in fact…of the first movie…which would be sort of expected with such an inventive title.

Like the first…it has a body count I can’t even fathom…of course…as in the first one…they took pains to show us that…(insert best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent here) “Yeah but they were all bad…”
(vid for the reference)

Update…the ever helpful internet…being known for just this sort of thing…has informed me the body count for JW2 is 128. That’s all kills by John Wick.

Which…of course…is damn near double the 77 kills in the first movie…but the internet informs me (again, it’s good for this sort of useless information that nobody cares if is accurate) that his shot accuracy declined from a 86% in the first movie to 80%…which should surprise nobody since he would be very tired…HOW tired I’m not actually sure…as it appears the internet has failed me in determining how many times John Wick himself got shot (or stabbed or punched or tossed) in the movies.

Now…we probably need to get some counseling for the poor souls that managed to watch these through enough times to count all the shots/kills…

Bullets flying. Bad guys dying. Our hero takes a licking and keeps on ticking…hmmm…actually, this is misleading…there is ZERO sex in these films, which is a shortcoming…when ya have this much gratuitous violence, gunshots, explosions, crashes, and the like…ya need some gratuitous sex to go along with it…it’s like a tradition!

And yes, we quite enjoyed it.

So…yep…the wife and I…at John Wick 2 for our romantic Valentines Evening…and we had a blast.

I do believe she’s a keeper. 🙂

Also: (obligatory)

So far for the year:
#1 Passengers
#2 John Wick Chapter 2
#3 Triple X…the Return of Xander Cage
#4 Collateral Beauty

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The Life I’m Given: Book Review

Book Review: The Life I’m Given : The Life You Choose by Guy B Wheatley

Just released, Guy B Wheatley’s third offering in the Given series follows “Emily”…a modified/enhanced human female awakened with no memories, in the clutches of a powerful company who intends to use her as an operative.

She’s not alone…and has help escaping provided by a previous “product” of the same lab. She must recover what memories she can while discovering her new abilities, and choose a new life…or to embrace her old one.

This is a satisfying read and was hard to put down…Character driven action (with the scify element of human enhancement) set in the not-to-distant future and although it can stand alone, I recommend reading the entire series.

Pick ’em up in digital or softcover at Amazon…click the picture to go there.

Daniel Meyer

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Triple X…the Return Of Xander Cage (movie review).

“Attending your own funeral is some really surreal sh!t…”

I took that cute little gal I’ve been known to hang around with to the movies this week.

We were checking out the offerings and deciding on what to see when the wife (yes, that cute gal mentioned above) says, “Sometimes ya just gotta blow sh!t up!”

Yep…I agree. Seems blatant, stupid, over-the-top action was on the agenda.

There’s a reason I married that woman!

So…xXx3 it is!

A synopsis…

Vin Diesel is back as the smarmy, ultra-bad-ass Xander Cage. We get to see some gorgeous women, big, elaborate sets, lots of impossible, over-the top stunt work, government conspiracies, and explosions and gunfire everywhere.

That’s pretty much all you need. Okay, I admit…”synopsis” is a strong word for that. How about a tag-line instead:

Kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you do it.

This describes the entire film to the “T”…or perhaps the X.

If it’s not what you expect, well, you’ve not been paying attention. This is a sequel to the first two movies in this series…which you can also sum up with, “Kick some ass, get the girl, and try to look dope while you do it.” They work, and they’re fun…which is why many of us go to the movies. Why change things?

The characters are fun, colorful, and utterly predictable. The plot exists simply as a framework to assemble this cast and blow up those things. This is a formula action/combat/gruff guy saves the world flick…and it totally works.

We enjoyed it, and will add it to the library. It’s worth a big-screen look.

If you like action/set movies, or even Bond movies, and particularly if you liked the original, then this movie’s a good bet.

It comes in as #2 in my top well…three. I’ve only seen about 5 for the year (more reviews coming).

Oh…and we kill off Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson’s character) in the first scene in the film…but he’s not dead. I’d have warned you of the spoiler…but it’s not one…’cause you already knew that. The only way to kill off a Samuel L. Jackson character is to feed him to a shark in ultra close-up, blood spewing, yet laughable horror (yes, it’s been done). He is, apparently, eternal. He also, apparently, plays exactly the same character in every film he does.

xXx3 is my #2 pick for the year so far…

#1 Passengers
#2 Triple X…the Return of Xander Cage
#3 Collateral Beauty

There are plenty of good movie offerings coming up this year…so we’ll see you at the movies!

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I wonder…

I wonder if they think about me…later…the ones that almost kill me…

They run me out of my lane or pull out in front of me without looking. Some run up on my tail at speeds that make it impossible for them to evade. Some swerve in front of me and slam on the brakes.

I’m not talking about the minor stuff…I don’t even notice that anymore. In a city of millions those sorts of things are inevitable. They’re avoidable too…if the other driver is just…inattentive rather than aggressive or outright hostile.

It’s the ones that give me no chance at all…unless I take serious evasive action. Fractions of a heartbeat…fractions of an inch…between life and death. More than once I’ve wondered in passing just which side of that particular line I ended up on…


One day I might blink at just the wrong time. Zig instead of zag. Make the wrong decision. I ride defensively. I’m aware. I always try to have an “out”…a plan.

One day even that may not be enough. Will they think about it then?

Life…and death. Fractions apart…some…many…flip me off when they realize what happened.

What kind of fucked up world view would you have to have in order to almost kill somebody…and then flip them off?

Do they mean it? That may just be the question that haunts me.

I’m not sure what’s worse…some never acknowledge I was even there.

I wonder if they actually understand what they nearly did…that there was life and death on the line. They created death…it was only the actions of another that prevented it.

There was a person on that machine…one that wanted nothing more than to get home and see his lady…

…a person that might just need one more day…or perhaps just one more moment…to earn back another piece of his soul…

Does that matter? Does it cross their mind later? Do they wonder…in the middle of the night?

I do.

I’ll see you on the road.

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Passengers (movie) Review…

Took my woman out to the movies last night. Passengers, starring a sizzling Jennifer Lawrence and…the wife insists…an equally sizzling Chris Pratt, was on the agenda.

Caution…spoilers ahead…it’s not possible to discuss this movie without them…but I’ll stay shallow and they’re really not that spoiler(y) anyway…

We enjoyed the film overall…a very clean hard scify that is stunningly gorgeous in sets (ALL the sets), design, and effects…and we will probably add it to the library.

…but it has it’s problems. They are almost irredeemable.

The story is that the Avalon…a corporate star-ship/cruise liner crossup, is transporting 5000 passengers and a couple hundred crew, all in suspended animation, from earth to a new colony. The journey is to take around 120 years.

A malfunctioning sleep pod awakens a single passenger, Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) 90 years too early.

With no way to get back into suspended animation, he is stranded alone, doomed to spend the rest of his life on what is essentially, a space-going luxury cruise ship.

I really wanted to like Chris Pratt’s character. His motivation for undertaking the journey and his skills I readily identify with.

But after a year alone (believably and occasionally humorously rendered) and going stir crazy he becomes obsessed with a female passenger (Aurora Lane, played by Jennifer Lawrence) and ultimately, causes her pod to malfunction and wake her up.

He does this knowing he’s dooming her to die before the ship reaches its destination. This to me is a boneheaded, sociopathic, and unforgivable move. I could not have done it…and it nearly turns the film from a scify action/disaster love story to a psychotic stalker movie.

The crew, btw…was unreachable by Jim…he did try…but still…dude

Anyway, doomed to be together forever, and having obvious chemistry, over the next year they fall in love…of course…he’s not told her why she is awake…this naturally, does eventually come out with predictable results.

He is ultimately redeemed in that the malfunction that awoke him was much more serious than initially thought…and if she hadn’t been there to help in the resolution…the ship and everybody on it would have perished.

Laurence Fishburne makes a neat appearance later as a crew member woken up by another malfunctioning pod, and ultimately gives the couple the key (literally LOL!) to save the ship.

As I said, enjoyable if I could ignore Pratt’s character’s obvious shortcoming. I’d have much preferred Jennifer Lawrence’s character to awaken accidentally but I suppose that would have been too coincidental (beautiful, eligible, compatible female).

But that, added to the plot holes detracts from the experience.

1) As the increasingly serious error conditions on the ship become evident in the control room, the ship would have been programmed to awaken the crew…or some of the crew…to check on the situation.
2) No way to get back to sleep…I just couldn’t buy this…the crew would contain a doctor, and the doctor would be able to put folks in suspended animation and back into the pods. The crew had to have been done after takeoff (one would think), and would need to be awakened and put back to sleep in the event of any serious malfunction. We would expect those to happen possibly multiple times in a 120-year journey. Also…as automated and safe as the pods are supposed to be…waking passengers from 120 year hibernation unsupervised…the automated tech would have been there to put them back.

Additionally…one of the great scenes was a “slingshot around a sun” move…which any prudently designed vessel would have summoned some human supervision prior and during this time…*especially* with the cascading malfunctions.

The could have closed these plot holes easily enough…indicating the crew pods were unreachable as part of the initial malfunction or something, but I spotted no attempt to do this…

The action is fantastic, the effects amazing, and the chemistry between the characters works. The sets and rendering of the ship are downright inspiring.

The ending is ultimately uplifting and thankfully lacked any sinister corporate plot, corrupt politician, or outright incompetence.

Definitely worth a view on the big screen…but hurry…it’s nearing the end of the run. If you miss it in the theater pick up the DVD or catch it on Netflix.

My #1 pick for the year so far…but keep in mind…it’s only the second one I’ve seen this year!

#1 Passengers
#2 Collateral Beauty

There’s some good movie offerings coming up this year…so we’ll see you at the movies!

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There’s quite enough already…

NOT Big Iron

Departing downtown Dallas Friday…into inclement weather, heavy snow…icing conditions…they had predicted “flurries”…I came across a “situation”.

Big Iron…the 8000 pounds of 4×4, horsepower, and “gives no shits” is running smoothly. With any luck the heater would warm up somewhere in the next 10 miles. I’ve picked a “side-way” out of town as due to the weather the city’s core is starting to look like a full-on evacuation is underway.

Yeah, we’re southerners. Snow and ice are rare enough that it’s a great excuse to freak out about the weather.

Quick! Buy bread! Bottled water! Batteries! For gawd’s sake get clean towels and boil some water!

Kind of like the yankee-folk do when their temperatures rise high enough to approach our spring normals.

To be fair…there *are* good reasons for this. We don’t often get a “gentle, beautiful” snowfall here. Predictions of a “dusting” often turn into 4 solid inches or more of ice…which is trouble in any major city. When the weather dude starts to say things like, “Uh oh…” it’s time to get out of downtown. The problem is…there’s usually about 8 million people that got the same message at the same time.

Me? No panic here. My sense of urgency was that my bosses said something along the lines of “Early release” and I was getting the heck out of Dodge…in the Dodge…before they changed their minds. Spend the afternoon cleaning up 10-year old code that was apparently written by a madman (yeah, that madman would be me), or spend the afternoon with my warm, willing woman just waiting for me at the house.

No choice at all really.

Anyway, departing town. Left lane of a one-way. Large median/sidewalks between the roads. Coming up on an intersection there is a…temptation.

There’s quite large puddle of icy water in my lane and up against the curb.

I *like* puddles. This is the kind of puddle that any rational guy sees and yells, “Puddle!” whilst accelerating toward it at high speed. I may have actually licked my lips in anticipation…

That’s what big honkin’ Dodges are *for*.

Yeah, I’m a guy. Doesn’t take much I suppose…

I am what I am. I do what I do.

But wait! There’s more!

A group of pedestrians were standing at that curb waiting for the light, most of them staring at their phones and blissfully unaware of just what a day they’re gonna have when some car or truck comes roaring through that puddle.

So…what do I do?

I did what any man would do…what any real man with 500 horsepower Texican pick-em-up-truck would do anyway…

I slowed till the next lane cleared and moved over to miss the puddle. Glancing at the group…one of them…I believe…was aware of what they’d been spared as he began to usher the others to the side a bit…there were, after-all, more to come behind me.

Why did I do it? Ur…or…more accurately…didn’t?

I can be a hard man. Ruthless even. Life has taught me how and severely punished me on multiple occasions when I’ve not taken the lesson. I bear lots of scars from those lessons…some of them are even on the outside.

Hard. Ruthless. Severe. I am all of those things…as needed.

But I am not a dick. There’s plenty of those running around already and the world is screwed up enough without more.

It’s a little thing…but that’s what the world is made up of…little things.

Don’t be a dick.

I’ll see you on the road.

Daniel Meyer

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Movie Review — Collateral Beauty

Took my lover to the movies Friday evening…”Collateral Beauty” was on the agenda.

Minor possible spoilers ahead…

We were hesitant to spend an evening out on this one…movies have gotten expensive and Will Smith has gotten…well…let’s just say a lot of his recent projects have been less than satisfying.

But with this one…an interesting concept and an all-star cast got us out to see it despite our concerns. Heck, we’ll see pretty much anything with Helen Mirren in it…especially after her appearances as Victoria…the retired MI6 agent and current freelancer in the “RED” franchise.

Anyway…the premise…Love, Time, and Death as actual physical incarnations answer…in person…letters to them from “Howard” (Will Smith) who has lost a child.

We enjoyed it despite the tough subject matter (losing a child) that predicates the story in the movie…but doubt we’d see it again or add it to the library.

I was pleased that the incarnations apparently turn out to be the real thing despite initially appearing as actors hired by Howard’s friends in a somewhat…mean…plot to get him to authorize the sale of his failing company.

My problem with the entire premise…was not the incarnations…it was the characterization of the grieving father played by Will Smith. “Howard” is grieving and pretty much completely non-functional *three years* after losing a child.

It has destroyed his marriage (not uncommon), but also the company he built and pretty much all his friends. They seem to accept this…right up until the events in the movie.

This was treated by the movie makers as completely normal and a natural consequence/reaction to the premise.


We are not that fragile. We’ve *never* been that fragile. We *cannot* be that fragile. The movie makes a point that a loss like this will never “go away” and “be okay” and that’s certainly true…but a multi-year complete breakdown is not even close to normal and not what we *are*…or what we *should* be…and certainly not something we have the luxury to *can* be…even in a touchy-feely “we are oversensitive to everything and must go to our safe space” world that our leaders (and Hollywood) seem to think we should inhabit.

This character was portrayed as far beyond broken and suicidal, and in the real world would have not survived this long…or would have been committed at least once (both of which would have solved the problems the friends were conspiring to fix)…yet the movie treated his condition as rather unremarkable expected behavior and a normal consequence of the events in the predicate.

If this had been a month after the fact I might have bought his condition…but then the actions of his friends would have made no sense…but three years…nope. Doesn’t work for me.

And yes…grief hits lots of folks somewhat differently…but few (if any) like this…and the movie makers failed to create a character we could care about…or believe.

So…maybe catch it on netflix or a free viewing on Amazon prime…or perhaps the $3 dvd bin at Walmegasupermart…the incarnations and some of the subtle humor there are worth that at least.

The characterization of “Time” as a young, pushy thug is certainly right on and Smith’s delivery of a couple lines are fun…notably, “It turns out death…is an elderly white woman…”

Speaking of death…Helen Mirren is fun as that incarnation…Mirren…playing death…who’s playing a washed out, vain actor…playing death.

And before the comments go sideways…regarding the predicate and how it effects folks…in this regard my lover and I do know of what we speak.

So…till next time…I’ll see you on the road (or at the movies).

(also: This has become obligatory on my movie reviews (click) )

Daniel Meyer

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